Caring for a loved one with cancer can be a lonely, overwhelming, emotionally and physically demanding journey. With Bowel Matters Charity, you are not alone. This page is here to help you navigate the complexities of being a caregiver, offering advice, support, and resources to help you through.
Practical Advice and Support
Financial Help
Caring for someone with cancer can bring unexpected financial pressures. It’s important to know what support you might be entitled to. Look into government benefits like Carer’s Allowance if you’re spending a significant amount of time caring for someone.
Carer’s Allowance eligibility:
- Care for someone for at least 35 hours a week.
- The person you’re caring for must be receiving certain disability benefits.
- Be over 16.
- Not be in full-time education.
- Have an average weekly income of £151 or less after tax.
- You do not have to live with or be related to the person you care for.
If you don’t qualify for Carer’s Allowance you may still be able to get Carer’s Credit, or Universal Credit.
There may be other benefits available. Charities such as Macmillan Cancer Support and Maggie’s Centres offer financial guidance and help filling in paperwork for claims.
Navigating Medical Appointments
Keeping track of appointments, medications, and test results is time consuming. Try to keep a dedicated notebook or use a digital app to log everything. It can also be helpful to create a list of questions to ask the doctor or nurse before each appointment, never be afraid to ask questions. This ensures you get the most out of your time and have clarity on the next steps. Consider asking about the treatment plan, potential side effects, and who to contact in an emergency.
Daily Life and Household Tasks
From shopping and cooking to cleaning and managing bills, the everyday tasks can feel overwhelming. Don’t be afraid to delegate or to ask for help from friends, family, or local community groups. Many people want to help but don’t know how; a simple “Could you help with the school run on Tuesday?” or “Would you be able to drop off some shopping?” can make all the difference.
Emotional Well-being and Self-Care
It’s Okay to Not Be Okay – Being a caregiver is emotionally draining. You might experience a rollercoaster of emotions, from sadness and anger to hope and gratitude. It’s completely normal to feel this way. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without guilt. Finding a support group, either online or in person, can provide a safe space to share your feelings with others who understand because they have the ‘lived experience’. There is no right or wrong way to feel or to cope. Emotions (for both you and your loved one) will be all over the place. It’s ok to cry and it’s also ok to laugh.
Prioritising Your Own Health
Looking after yourself isn’t selfish; it’s essential, because burnout is common. Make sure you’re eating well, getting enough sleep, and taking time for activities you enjoy, even if it’s just for 15 minutes a day (friends and family members or community services can help with this). It might be a quiet cup of tea, a short walk, or listening to music. Your health and well-being matter too.
Communicating with Your Loved One
Open and honest communication is key. While it can be difficult, talking about fears, concerns, and hopes can bring you closer. Remember to listen without judgment and validate their feelings. You are a source of comfort and strength, and being present for them is one of the most important things you can do. You don’t have to try to ‘fix’ things, just being there can be enough. It’s also ok for you to have boundaries too and to communicate them.
Remember, you are doing an incredible job, but you can’t do everything. Being there, listening, helping, loving – that’s enough. Be kind to yourself, seek support when you need it, and know that help is always available.